Do You Feel On Top Of Things And In Control (All The Time)?

fumbling-neuronsThis is not a social media post. It is about something I don’t know anything about.

Why our neurons make us think that other people are better than us? First off I have to admit that my knowledge about neurons is limited and can be compared to a cave man’s knowledge about cell phone. Still, I will give it a shot. May be some neuron people would like to use it as a research subject.

Yesterday I stumbled upon this interesting post about empathy, Gandhi’s Neurons: The Practice of Empathy. In that post is a link to a really good video about mirror neurons.

In that post one of the pointers on how to flex our empathic muscle is that:

Understand this Universal Human Fear. A fundamental fear experienced by most is the hidden fear of not measuring up. Recognize this and do your part to genuinely make those in your circle of influence feel that they are enough. It’s a powerful act of interpersonal philanthropy.

Now, why is that? If everybody is having this fundamental fear of not measuring up then we should measure up just nicely. This is where it occurred to me that when we actually do stuff then there are a lot more neurons in play than just watching something done. Doh! This is obvious! Here’s the idea, besides all the useful neurons also a special kind of neurons gets active when we do something. Lets call those omg-i-hope-i-don’t-screw-this-up-and-get-laughed-at-neurons or fumbling neurons for short.

When we see someone doing something then our mirror neurons get activated but the fumbling neurons do not. We feel and understand how the speaker speaks or snowboarder makes a jump. So we see others as skillful and confident. We think to ourselves, how can they make is seems so easy. But that’s the point, it only seems that they are at ease and confident. In fact their fumbling neurons work overtime to make them feel incompetent.

For many people fumbling neurons paralyze them and they will do a poor job at their task. I think there is a simple way to overcome this degrading effect. First you have to understand that fumbling neurons will always be there. Second, ignore them! I haven’t read Seth Godin’s Linchpin, yet but seems that the lizard brain that he’s talking about is made of fumbling neurons. The pat of the brain that makes you double check endlessly, postpone and not to speak up.

Just ignore the fumbling neurons and do stuff.

OK, let’s tie this to social media and social networking sites. I believe that if you can create an environment or community where people can feel they are enough and share their experiences then you will have a very good chance of making it a lively thriving system. If you find a way to communicate the fumbling part then people will feel closer together.

Image credit lumaxart / Scott Maxwell

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Priit Kallas

Priit is the founder and CEO of DreamGrow Digital, an internet marketing and social media company. With his 20+ years internet marketing experience he is Helping companies to understand and use the digital marketing to reach their target audiences. He's also writing on a personal growth website He has spoken at hundreds of seminars and conferences on different aspects of internet marketing. Priit is also the organizer of Digital Elite Camp, a leading traffic and conversion event.

1 Response

  1. Jaan-Matti says:

    There’s also a great book about this subject, called “Feel the fear and do it anyway” by Susan Jeffers.

    She really goes in-depth about why we fear and worry. And why fear is actually a normal response to anything new – An instinct that originates from the stone age. A good read for basically everyone.

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